Marriage is getting more and more controversial as currently, the number of divorces worldwide nearly reaches the number of marriages. Why it doesn’t work all the time? Are people incapable to find “the one”? Or marriage is indeed really different from what they’ve expected? There are plenty of tips on the Internet on how to choose the perfect spouse, how to deal with marital problems, and so on. But the rise in divorces continues and not just in the big cities or the most advanced economies. The trend has gone global. So, before saying “Yes”, you should know at least five truths about marriage nobody will tell you.
The idea of finding “the one” is indeed outdated – soulmates aren’t born, they’re made. No one is perfect – neither are you, nor the person you’ve chosen to marry. Waiting for the perfect man is just waiting for something that is not real. A lot of people know that, or so they think. In reality, they reject plenty of good opportunities because they don’t like some little, unimportant detail. A healthy, happy relationship is about responsibility, respect and commitment, not about perfection.
You love each other and you think that’s all you need. Good, that’s really romantic. But it’s also extremely naive. Usually, relationships start with a blessed happiness, affection and passion – these will last for up to a year. Then, exaltation is replaced with the harsh reality – you live together and it’s far from perfect. You will argue and fight over silly things. You will have a lot of problems, you will doubt your spouse’ feelings (and yours, too). That’s OK! This will pass and marriage will indeed get better with the time.
A spouse doesn’t complete you
Many people believe getting married will somehow fix their problems, their life, their confusion, depression, their struggle. It won’t. Your spouse doesn’t complete you – you are totally separate individuals. Yes, you may indeed influence the other person or even change them to some extent, but that’s it. Getting married won’t make you “whole”.
If you love traveling, while your spouse hates going overseas, your time together will be difficult. You don’t have to search for a perfect copy of yourself (that’s impossible and even if it was, it would be a disaster!). Just search for a person who has the similar views of the world and life, similar dreams and passions. Your shared opinions, interests and experiences will only make you closer to each other.
Marriage is NOT for everybody
This is quite an untraditional idea, right? Not exactly. If you are religious and live in a traditional, religious community, you are expected to marry until the age of 25-30. But marriage isn’t the only way. Single life can be just as enriching and satisfactory. Yes, you can be really happy on your own! This is already a trend in fact – a lot of young people nowadays choose career over marriage and kids. And maybe some of them are right to do so. There are just too many divorces, children in foster care and unhappy people.